


Levi's Mating Call

by pantheralupus



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Fluff, Humor, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, Other, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-15
Updated: 2014-03-15
Packaged: 2018-01-15 20:07:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1317613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pantheralupus/pseuds/pantheralupus
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(Or, The Way To A Lance Corporal's Heart Is Through Poop Jokes)</p><p>Based on a headcanon where LeviHan fall in love over something really stupid. </p><p>Hanji decides to announce their bowel movements to the entire mess hall. Levi is oddly impressed. There is an unspoken confession of sorts.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Levi's Mating Call

**Author's Note:**

> Eyyy guess who decided to rewrite this with genderneutral pronouns? It's gonna take some getting used to, but I think it flows alright.

The mess hall at the Scouting Legion’s headquarters was filled with soldiers, chattering loudly away on their lunch break, when the double doors flew open with a bang. 

Standing there, messy brown hair and glinting glasses, with their chin proudly jutted out, was Hanji.

A sudden hush fell over the wide hall. Hanji opened their mouth to speak and the soldiers, knowing their reputation, waited with baited breath.

After a theatric pause, they declared, “…I just took a shit the size of the colossal titan!”

Before anyone could say a word, a dark haired man stood up, separating himself from the crowd. Though he was short of stature, an aura of eminent doom permeated the atmosphere. Levi narrowed his eyes at the grinning figure standing in front of the room. Several people shrunk back at his presence, but Hanji stood unwaveringly.

“Say that again,” said Levi, his voice carrying clearly over the silent room.

Hanji's mouth widened in a Cheshire grin and they repeated, “I, Hanji Zoe, just took a shit _the size of the colossal titan_.” They cocked their head and put their hand on their hip, as if daring him to do something about it.

Levi stormed across the hall towards them, grey eyes shining fiercely. There was a collective intake of breath when he came to a halt, less than a foot away from them, glaring past the couple inches that separated them. Hanji didn’t even flinch. They drew themself up to their full height, looking down at him with a smirk.

No one expected what the corporal did next. With one swift movement, he swept-kicked Hanji off their feet, caught them around the waist with one arm, and with the other, tangled his fingers in their hair, pulling them into a heated kiss.

A cadet gasped, and was quickly hushed by her comrades.

But the pair in the doorway didn’t seem to notice. Hanji’s nails were visibly digging into Levi’s jacket as they responded enthusiastically.

Very enthusiastically.

The entire mess hall was still watching in horrified fascination when they finally broke the kiss. Levi turned to glower at the gawping crowd after helping Hanji to their feet.

“The fuck are you idiots staring at?” he snapped, slightly breathless.

The soldiers immediately turned away, fearing for their lives. Nervous murmurs began to spread around the room. No one dared to even glance at the corporal and squad leader as they left the mess hall together.

 

The doors swung shut behind them, muffling the low clamor of voices. Hanji draped an arm over the shorter man’s shoulders; his arm was still around their waist.

“Never thought you were a romantic,” they said jokingly.

“Shut it, shitty glasses,” Levi grumbled.

Before they could say, “Make me,” he reached up and kissed them again.


End file.
